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 I have a list of topics that I wrote down to write about as the inspiration for each one came but I need to stop procrastinating.

Another Eat, Pray, Love inspired journal entry about the power of prayer and the ability to choose thoughts.

One thing that I agree on is that you can't just keep praying. You eventually have to take some initiative yourself. Throwing yourself in helpless desperation before God isn't going to solve anything. You can't keep praying to win the lottery; eventually, you're going to have to go out and buy a lottery ticket instead of praying about it.

Destiny is the same way. Half of it you have no control over. I like the metaphor that Elizabeth Gilbert provides. All your life, you're balancing on two speeding horses. Under one foot is a horse called "fate" and under the other is "free will." Everyday, you ask yourself which one is which? Which one is the the one you need to stop worrying about and which one do you need to have more control over?

This is why I don't pray and pray and pray throughout the day. My prayers are reserved for the nighttime, before I go to sleep, when I'm done with activities for the day, and at times of great distress when I might need the power of prayer most. If I just pray, what gets done? I pray for strength. I pray for God to allow things to go my way. But I need to do my part to make them happen too.

Another concept that she brings up in this chapter (this is Ch. 58 by the way, in case you're curious...) is choosing thoughts. I was always sketchy about this concept until I read this chapter. I never thought you had the power to control your thoughts, therefore you don't have the power to choose them. The method that Liz Gilbert describes in this makes me question whether it should be called "choosing" thoughts.

This process is not about repression or denial of thoughts you may have, but of understanding where these negative thoughts came from and dismissing them with forgiveness. This has helped me a little better with not being sad. Yes, it's about Jeremy, how did you know? I love him. I miss him. God knows how much I do. I felt myself relapsing into thoughts about him yesterday and today and of course I felt sad. I need to bring my "choosing thoughts" powers up to speed. They were working really well before. It helped me not to dwell. I felt more of a presence of that voice I need in my head. When my heartbroken voice cries "I love him. I miss him. I'm so sorry. I want us to start over. God, if you see it fit, please bring us back together in the future," this voice that I've been needing is able to speak up so much more clearly and say "Okay. You miss him. You love him. You want to be with him. But honey, now is not the time to dwell over this." There's no pondering over it with things like "If he really loves you and wants to be with you, he'll come back" or "You don't even know if he cares about you anymore." It's a point-blank "Move on." And it's helped me, more than I realized, to be happier.